


Guess We're Married Now, Buddy!

by OniX



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Finnpoe - Freeform, M/M, Stormpilot, fake married, idk what other names they have, pining i guess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2016-03-07
Packaged: 2018-05-10 12:40:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 14,057
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5585734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OniX/pseuds/OniX
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Poe drags Finn with him to a cargo delivery mission, and they get delayed. They find themselves needing to stay in a city where everyone who enters needs to be married for spiritual reasons and surely the obvious choice would be to explain the situation, but instead these two find themselves pretending to be somewhat married. Finn thinks it's just a joke and Poe doesn't know how to advance, but they're pretty sure Rey will be pissed when she hears they got married without her being there. Whoops.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. How They Got Married (for the first time)

**Author's Note:**

> Alright, alright, I feel like this isn't the best text I've written but dude I'm a little rusty. My apologies for that but enjoy anyway. 
> 
> And guys, for once I've actually written continuation, so there WILL be more chapters this time.

Finn didn’t think he was unaware of the world until he actually got out to the world. He didn’t know what he expected and in hindsight, the whole world couldn’t be all battlestations and armors and orders. He still didn’t quite believe it could really be like this: he got to go where he wanted, he got to eat what he wanted and when he wanted and just do whatever he wanted. He was so used to orders and being watched that sometimes he still hesitated before doing some things, thinking he’d get in trouble for them, before he remembered he didn’t need to worry about that anymore. Sure, there were some restrictions and whatnot with the resistance, but it was different. It was so different. 

“Finn, buddy, we’re landing. You can daydream later!” 

Finn snapped out of it and took a firmer grip of his controls. He let Poe do the flying, he was a better pilot by far, but sometimes even he needed help. Especially while flying a huge ship with precious cargo. 

“Sorry! What do I do?” Finn asked and turned to look at Poe. Poe, Poe Dameron, now there was a man. His hair was artistically messy and his expression screamed focus, and yet he managed to slip a smile to Finn. 

“You know what to do. Watch the readings", Poe said and slapped Finn’s shoulder. Finn turned to look at the readings, a bit reluctantly. Poe had taught him flying, he knew the basics, but he still had lot to learn. He was pretty sure Poe only let him fly now because he could really handle it and just wanted to give Finn some practice. But Finn was determined to not let him down, so he tried to focus and remember what he knew. It was just that sometimes, when he was with Poe, it was difficult to remember even the easiest things. How to talk and act normal and all that. Or fly. 

They got down relatively safely. It was a bit bumpy, but Poe insisted that it was the horrible wind and not Finn’s hesitation with the rear stabilizers. Finn didn’t know if he believed Poe, but it didn’t matter. They turned off the controls and got up from the chairs. Finn stretched his legs and stomped on the floor a few times to wake himself up. He knew they needed to stay on the planet for some time to make sure their cargo got to the right place and that the next cargo was loaded up right, but he didn’t know much else. He wasn't supposed to be on this mission at first, but then the woman who was meant to be here first had been moved to a more urgent mission where her skills were needed. Poe had ran up to him and asked if he wanted to do a mission with him, and the next thing he knew he was in this huge spaceship towards some planet he had never heard about. 

They were almost at the doors when Poe suddenly stopped. He spun around so quickly he almost slammed into Finn. Not that Finn minded. 

“Right, I - sorry. Anyway, I forgot to tell. This planet has special needs. They’re very reserved, so no swearing, no yelling, and especially no guns. Unless we’re attacked. But that’s unlikely", Poe said, and added the last sentence quickly. He knew Finn hated fighting in places where there was a chance of casualties. Finn was pretty sure it was a trauma of some sort, but he didn’t know how to sort it out. He had specifically asked to have a break from gunfights for now. 

Poe was staring up at him with his beautiful brown eyes. His eyelashes were long and dark, illegal for sure. “Right. Right, okay.” 

“You okay, buddy?” Poe asked. His eyes were wide. Was he worried? He was definitely worried. 

“Yeah. Yes, uh, the landing… was… rough", Finn said. He didn’t know why the words got caught in his throat like that. It was embarrassing. 

“It went well! You just need a little more practice. Soon you’ll be as good as I am", Poe said and laughed. Finn smiled too, and allowed Poe’s laugh to relax him. He was pathetic, for god’s sake. “Come on, then. Let’s roll.” 

Finn fixed his jacket before he followed Poe. He had tried to give Poe his jacket back a few times, but Poe insisted that he kept it. And Finn did. He wore it almost all the time, every time he could. He had tried experimenting with different color clothes under the jacket, but he found himself most comfortable in simple black. Poe, in his free time, wore lots of orange, red and yellow, and Finn had tried them but they just didn’t feel his. Now, maybe because of the planet’s culture, Poe was in black pants and a white shirt. He did have a bright orange triangle hanging on a necklace, but he slipped it under his shirt. 

Finn never got tired of seeing planets like this. He had seen many from above and from behind black lenses, but he had never had the chance to look at the culture, and the people. He let Poe handle talking to the manager through a translator in favor of spinning around watching things. They were in a big hall, but he could see out through the windows. The planet had looked green from above, and truly, huge trees grew all over. They seemed to line up along a street in one place. Very little sunlight got through the leaves, but where it did, it splattered on the grey ground. It was very moist too, but not as hot as he had imagined. 

Poe was arguing about something with the manager when a woman stopped in front of Finn. The people were humanoids, but they had these long strips coming out of their head along with hair. They were the same length as their hair, most of the time, so Finn assumed they could be cut like hair. They almost looked like really thick hairs. The woman had her hair up in a bun on top of her head, with the thick hairs wrapped around the bun. She was carrying papers and she gave one to Finn without a word. 

“Uh… thanks?” Finn said. He couldn’t read the letters used here so he had no idea what the paper was. Poe finished his argument with the manager just then. 

“There’s some delay going on so we might have to stay here for longer than intended", Poe said. “But we should be able to rent a room somewhere in the city.” 

“A room? How long do we need to stay?” Finn asked. He had promised to see Rey when she got back from her mission in a week. 

“I don’t know and neither do they", Poe sighed. “Not too long, I hope. What’s that?” 

He grabbed the paper from Finn. He examined it, but didn’t seem to understand what it said any better. It looked like some kind of form with some free spaces and lines, like you were supposed to fill it in. 

“Ah, that’s your marriage license", the translator chipped in. Finn stared at him and blinked slowly. Poe’s face was blank too. 

“Did they not tell you? You have to fill it and send it to local authorities, our equivalent to your police and peacekeepers. It’s nothing big, they just need to have evidence that everyone entering the city is married and therefore allowed in the city", the man said. 

“Right", Poe said, face still blank. 

“You… are married, right?” the man asked. Finn didn’t know what to say. 

“Yes", he blurted out. He felt stupidly excited all the while fearing the day he’d have to stop pretending. He hadn’t even started, but he didn’t want it to end. 

“Almost", Poe said and they glanced at each other. “See, we’re from different cultures and missing some official ceremonies, things like that.” 

“Ah, so more like engaged?” 

“Yeah, engaged. But I mean, it’s almost the same here, is it not? I was told the intention mattered here more than, you know, ceremonies and all that", Poe said and waved his hands around. Finn kept nodding next to him and he tried to look serious and like this didn’t phase him. 

“Well, yes, the intention to marry is enough to be considered married, especially with outers like you. If you can give me your names and the social numbers you were given before, I can fill it for you and get it to right office", the translator said. 

“Thank you, that would be nice. I’m Poe Dameron, and number… 7582-748”, Poe said. Finn’s heart started pounding. He didn’t have a last name, no one had ever needed it, he was just Finn.

“8595-748. Finn… Dameron", Finn said. Poe glanced at him from the corner of his eye and a smile tugged his lips. Finn hit him in the back. Gently, of course. 

They got out of the warehouse. They had small bags because they hadn’t intended to stay here for long, but Poe didn’t seem worried. They could see the city but there were two roads, and after bickering about it Poe gave in. They started walking towards the city. The road was made out of smoothed chunks of grey stone, and it was old and cracked. They didn’t say anything for a while. Once they were completely alone surrounded by the huge trees, Poe started snickering. Finn couldn’t help but smile. When Poe burst out laughing, Finn laughed with him. 

“Guess we are married now, buddy", Poe said with a wide grin. Finn shook his head a bit. 

“I didn’t think I’d do that any time soon", he said, and that was true at least. So, was this really happening? 

“You’re officially stuck with me then", Poe said. “Rey’s going to love this. She’s going to be mad that we got married without her.” 

“Yeah. Better make sure there’ll be no sticks around when we tell her", Finn said. His heart was still beating a little too fast, but he also couldn’t stop himself from smiling. It was stupid of course, because it wasn’t real, and it wasn’t like he had a real chance with Poe, but… well, he could pretend for a while, couldn’t he? They hadn’t know for that long, but Poe was different than anyone he had met. Poe was kind and gentle and he crouched down to hug BB-8 all the time, even though it was a droid. Poe was brave, too, he had crash landed them back on that goddamned Jakku when they first met, while they were hunted by the First Order. He could be stubborn too if he wanted, and sometimes he stayed too close and talked a little too loud, but he was still always kind. And he didn’t expect Finn to be some murderous machine who charged head first into battle, who never needed to talk or cry. But he also didn’t treat him as someone made of porcelain. Poe was just right. And way out of Finn’s reach. 

Rey was good too, of course, and they had grown even closer. But it had never been like that between them, there was never any romantic feelings there. She was good and brave, and capable, and sometimes she was the only thing that got Finn out of his bed in the morning. She was curious and kind, too, but in a different way. And besides, she didn’t have time for falling in love and crying after boys or girls. Maybe once she was finished with whatever mysterious thing she had going on in her life that she refused to talk about, but she clearly wasn’t interested in anyone now. 

The city was built around the trees, and in them. There were stairs circling the trees and there had to be whole houses in the trunks. Closer to ground, where the trunks were the thickest, were restaurants and big stores and some places Finn didn’t know a name for, and people were going up and down the stairs and elevators that were only ropes and a platform. Finn wasn’t too eager to get in one of them. He wasn’t sure how Poe read his mind, but he dragged Finn into one of them not ten minutes after they arrived in the city. They didn’t go far, only three stories up, and Poe dragged him inside. The room was half of the inside of the trunk, with thick walls to stop the three from cracking and falling over in a storm. Poe didn’t speak the language but he managed to find someone who spoke their language. After some negotiating, Poe booked them a room for a few nights. 

They also got a map where the staff marked some nice places for them. A few restaurants and things to see if they had to be there for a longer time, and some shops where they could buy clothes too. Then they were guided to their room. It was, thankfully, only reachable from inside of the tree, so they had to climb a few set of stairs to get there. There was a window there, though, big and a semi circle, with a windowsill wide enough to sit on. And one bed. Big enough for two, yeah, but still. Finn reminded himself that they were supposed to be married. Of course they had one bed. 

_Don’t get too excited, man. It’s not real. It’s only for this trip._ How could it ever be more? Finn was so conflicted, once again in his life. He knew it would be a lot easier if he just didn’t enjoy it, if he didn’t play along, if he didn’t let Poe jokingly call him husband, but on the other hand… Finn just wanted to see Poe smile like that and look at him with that certain twinkle in his eyes. 

“Well then. I guess we have to report back that we’re not in schedule. Do you want to check our financial status so I know how much money I need to beg for?” Poe asked and tossed Finn his mini-computer. Poe had given him the passwords so that if he needed money while he was not quite part of the resistance yet he had some, and he hadn’t changed his passwords since. Finn logged in while Poe contacted their liaison. They weren’t happy and promised to find out what was happening. 

“Has Rey returned?” Finn asked before the call ended. 

“Not that I know. Sorry. I can notify her that you’re on a mission when she comes back, if you want”, Oola offered. 

“Yeah, do that, please", Finn said. He knew that Rey was more than capable of handling herself, he still didn’t forget seeing her climbing in the inside walls of a damn death ray, but he couldn’t help worrying about her. She was too good to be lost. 

Poe patted his shoulder. “I’m sure she’s alright.” 

“I know I shouldn’t worry about her”, he mumbled. Poe’s hand stayed on his shoulder, resting there, and Finn liked it. 

“She’s your friend, of course you worry about her. I do too", Poe said softly and stepped to Finn’s right side. He smiled a little. “But if I had to name one person who could survive anything, I’d name her.” 

Finn couldn’t help a smile, once again, and he turned his head to hide it. Poe patted his shoulder again. 

“Come on then, husband. I’m hungry, let’s go eat something.” 

Finn’s heart jumped a bit at the word husband, but he tried to hide it too. If Finn was honest, he didn’t think he was fooling Poe at all, but for whatever reason Poe didn’t bring it up. Falling in love with a friend didn’t seem like the best thing to do after freeing himself from a tyrannic organization, but if he had to do it, Poe was a pretty damn good pick.


	2. Marriage Proves To Be A Bit Difficult (especially when you're not actually married)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They're still stuck on that planet. And they still pretend to be married. Finn knows he likes it and he doubts Poe feels the same way, because he would never be good enough for someone like Poe, right? Right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if this story moves anywhere but at least I got to write from Poe's perspective yay

They ate some local food. Poe laughed at the faces Finn made when tasting some of the foods, but Finn got to laugh at him when he nearly choked on his drink from laughing at Finn. The waiter shook his head. Finn noticed that people were in pairs or sometimes groups most of the time, but rarely alone. And most of the couples held hands all the time and gave quick kisses every now and then, and Finn had to wonder how exactly were these people reserved. It was true that they spoke softly and kept their paces at strangers, but with the people they were with, they sure didn’t hold back. It was almost like they were making sure everyone knew they were a couple. He wondered how badly he and Poe stood out. 

“What do you want to do tonight?” Finn asked as he poked the weird jello dessert with his fork. 

“Are you going to eat that?” Poe asked and grabbed the plate. “I don’t know. We flew a long way here. Maybe just go to bed early and have a good sleep.” 

“Yeah", Finn said. He didn’t even try to take the plate back. Instead he cut a small piece with his fork right from Poe’s plate, now that he could claim he was just trying to fit in with their surroundings. Poe’s eyes twinkled. 

“Did you like it?” he asked. 

“No", said Finn. 

“Have some more anyway", Poe said and offered him another piece. In his fork. Finn didn’t know how to answer, so he just let Poe feed him a piece of the jello he didn’t like. Poe snickered like it was the funniest thing in the world and Finn shook his head. But his cheeks did feel a bit too warm. 

When they were outside of the restaurant’s door, Poe stopped. He offered his arm with a shit-eating grin. Finn didn’t know if he could refuse, but the good thing was that he didn’t even want to. He would take any excuse to be close to Poe. They walked around the city disguised as a couple, bought a few souvenirs to Rey and themselves, but soon headed back to their room. 

“Any messages?” Finn asked when they were in their room. Poe checked the communicator and shook his head. His curls bounced around. Finn wondered how it would feel to run his hand through them. 

“No. I’ll go take a shower now. Would my husband like to join me?” Poe said. Finn almost choked on nothing. The word husband made his stomach tighten, but at the same time it made him… sad. He would never have a real chance with Poe. He wanted so badly to be serious with Poe, but he just couldn’t do that. Poe deserved better, someone whole and good. 

“Shut up", he said to Poe, who just laughed. “Is there a shower in here?” 

“Yeah, right there. In the corner, behind that folding screen", Poe said and pointed at it. Finn had thought it was just there so they could put it somewhere if they wanted, but when he looked behind it, he saw that Poe was right. There was a shower there. The folding screen didn’t even reach the roof, but at least it met the tall threshold keeping the water in the shower area. You could also somewhat see through the folding screen. 

If Finn hadn’t thought that this was going to be difficult before, he started thinking so now. He left the shower wondering what the hell he was going to do. He didn’t expect to see Poe stripping right there next to their bed, pulling off his shirt in his underwear. Finn froze. He managed to move before Poe pulled the shirt from in front of his face. He faceplanted on the bed and grabbed Poe’s minicomputer, and faced away from stripping Poe. 

“Finn? You okay there, buddy?” 

Finn wanted to say that no, he wasn’t, and it was all because of Poe. He didn’t know if he could ever erase that picture from his memory. He didn’t especially want to and maybe he should have taken a better look but… yeah. 

“I’m fine. Just tired", Finn said. He didn’t know what to do with the computer, but turning it on was a good start. 

“Alright. Me too. Do you know where they keep the towels?” 

Finn timed rolling on his back so that Poe just passed him. He let his eyes flick to Poe for a second. It was like from a painting, with the sunlight coloring Poe’s skin golden from where it seeped through the leaves, making the shadows even darker on the curves of his body. Finn had seen men naked before, they didn’t exactly give them special suites in the battle station, but no one had never really made him feel like Poe did. It wasn’t a hard on, but something low in his stomach woke up. Finn wanted to look more, see more, lean close and run his fingers lightly over Poe’s skin. He hadn’t been allowed to touch and he had had some other things to worry about, but now… he wanted to touch. 

This was really going to be torture. Poe probably didn’t do it on purpose (probably being the keyword) but Finn didn’t know how he was going to survive his fake marriage. To be honest, he couldn’t really understand why Poe was playing along here. He kept bringing it up, that they were husbands now, and Finn expected him to find it all very amusing. But besides that, he seemed to actually like it. And Finn just couldn’t understand why. 

Finn was a messed up ex-stormtrooper. He didn’t know much about the world even if he was learning. Some things took him completely by surprise, things that were crystal clear to Poe, and he didn’t know how Poe always had the patience to sit down and explain those things to Finn. He didn’t even understand how Poe could listen to him talk about his past without hating him or at least getting bored, because lots of times Finn repeated the same things he just couldn’t get over. He was boring and not pulled-together, if he was honest, he was in pieces. He was starting to put the pieces together now, in different order than what they had been in, and he couldn’t wrap his mind around why someone would like to stay around and watch that. 

They hadn’t packed pajamas and since they didn’t have spare clothes, Finn chose to sleep in his underwear. He didn’t think much about it until Poe did the same. But he was determined to get through this with some of his honor. The bed was big enough for two, but they weren’t very far from each other. Finn was lucky he was tired because every now and then their hands brushed together or against their backs or something. Finn wondered if he should purposely brush against Poe, but he found himself yawning. It didn’t take long for Finn to fall asleep. 

Poe hadn’t planned on going on a mission with Finn. He hadn’t planned marrying Finn either (mostly because he didn’t want to get too excited). He also hadn’t planned waking up sprawled all over Finn, with his arm slung over Finn’s chest and one leg on top of Finn’s. Finn was always still when he slept, he was always on his back and woke up easily, but Poe had never been able to do that. He liked cuddling and he always conquered the bed he was in. It didn’t matter because mostly he slept alone, but now it wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to make Finn uncomfortable. Teasing him was another thing. 

“Sorry", Poe half mumbled, half yawned. 

“‘S okay", Finn mumbled back. His right arm was under Poe and against Poe’s neck. It felt nice. And it was enough to tell Poe that Finn wasn’t uncomfortable. 

“How’s my husband this lovely morning?” Poe asked and almost smacked said husband in the face while trying to move hair out of his face. 

“He has a dead arm and he needs to shower", Finn said, a lot more awake now. 

“This husband wants to go back to sleep", Poe said. His words were accompanied by another yawn. 

“I’m not stopping you", Finn said. He got out of bed, but Poe stayed under the blankets and kept his eyes closed even though he was facing the shower. He could steal a peek at naked Finn, but he still wasn’t quite sure how Finn felt about being naked. He imagined that army-life had been pretty open about nakedness, but that didn’t tell much about an individual’s opinion on it. He didn’t mind Finn looking at him, but he didn’t want to make assumptions. Especially about Finn. It brought something in his mind. Once Finn was dressed and they were packing their things into their small bags, he stepped close to Finn and grabbed his shoulder. 

“Hey, buddy… if this whole marriage thing makes you uncomfortable and let’s be honest, it looks a little like it, you can just tell me and I’ll quit. Alright?” Poe said and didn’t let go of Finn’s shoulder. 

“No, no, I just… I mean, it’s a bit weird. But it’s fine”, Finn said. He spoke a little too quickly, but Poe wasn’t about to argue. If Finn said he was okay with something, Poe trusted him to tell the truth. Even if he looked a little conflicted every time Poe called him husband or mentioned their marriage, he always smiled, too. And it was a happy smile. 

“Okay. Good to hear, hubby.” 

Before they went out, they checked the communicator and if there was any new information about their schedule. There wasn’t. Poe pulled out the map they had been given and after poking at it for a while, they decided to go see some stuff near the city. They both had their portable communicators hidden and Poe let Finn fold the map neatly. When they left the building/tree, he offered his arm to Finn again. This time he received A Look, but Finn did take his arm. Poe was glad. This trip had offered him a great excuse to get even closer to Finn than what he was. 

The city was very complicated and they got lost every time they had to take a turn. They were both used to simply moving somewhere until they found their way, and one city was nothing compared to the space. Once they were lost for three days because they couldn’t land and their ship’s navigation system broke down, but they made it out alright. And they threw a party for them when they got back. And if the people knew any language they did, they were very helpful. Especially if they had their arms hooked at the time. They ate out again, obviously, and toured around the few sights there were. It wasn’t exactly a tourist city with the tight restrictions in getting in, but there were some things worth seeing. 

They were also invited to what they thought was a restaurant but turned out to be a bar. It was a dimly lit but comfortable place with soft music playing. Poe changed a look with Finn and after receiving a nod, pulled him in. Some of the stuff they sold wasn’t drinkable for humans, but there was alcohol and other things they could have. They didn’t have money to spend on everything they saw, but they could have a night off. They talked about the drinks for a moment, and Finn got up to get them. Poe sat with their new friends who switched through three languages. Poe looked at the people in the bar and the bartender serving Finn. She looked at Finn when he looked away, and smiled when Finn took the drinks. A bit too flirtily. Poe knew he didn’t have right to be jealous, but he couldn’t help pursing his lips. 

“It’s okay. They do that sometimes, they’re mostly single here", one of the people they were with said. She was a native, a short woman with wide eyes and a quiet voice. Well, everyone had a quiet voice here. 

“Shouldn’t they know everyone is married?” Poe asked. Even though he wasn’t married for real. 

“They do. But they want to get married too so they try seducing someone into being with them", Homa said. Her eyes made her look surprised of what she said. 

“That’s just rude", Poe said as Finn sat down. He slid Poe his drink and took a sip of his own. The drink tasted like something fruity, and it was bright yellow. It was a bit too sweet for Poe’s taste, but at least the alcohol burned through. He grabbed Finn’s bottle and tasted that too. It was almost like ordinary beer. 

“Mine’s better", Poe declared. 

“Mine’s safer", Finn countered. 

“I’ve drank everything a human can and I’m still alive”, Poe said and waved his hand. Finn sighed. 

“I hope you stay that way", he said under his breath. Poe smiled into his drink. 

He didn’t want to get too drunk. It was hard to tell how drunk Finn was, but he hadn’t bought that many drinks. And when they left, he walked straight. They got to the hotel alright and Poe fell on the bed. He wasn’t that tired yet, though, so he grabbed a pillow and tugged it under his chin. He looked at Finn folding the jacket that used to be Poe’s. Poe liked seeing Finn in it. He didn’t know why, but he really did. 

“Are you tired?” Poe asked. Finn sat down on the bed. 

“Not really. A bit… buzzy", he said. Poe laughed. 

“I feel that. I’m buzzy too", he smirked. “What should we do then? Want to talk?” 

“About what?” Finn asked. He lifted his feet on the bed and he looked so awfully tense. Poe reached out and patted Finn’s thigh - no, definitely not because he saw a chance to touch Finn’s thigh and he took it. 

“Relax a little, bud. And I don’t know, anything you want. We haven’t talked in a while”, Poe said. It was true. They both took bit of a holiday after blowing up a battle station planet and they had grown incredibly close during that time, but then they had gone different ways. Poe had been needed on some missions and his piloting skills were really needed all over the place. Finn on the other hand had stayed with the Resistance and, Poe imagined, figured out his life. It was good. And Finn seemed a bit different now, a little more open, a little more curious about the world. 

“Oh. Yeah, okay. I don’t know, nothing’s really happened to me”, Finn said. He looked serious. He always took their little talks seriously, and to be honest, that’s why Poe loved talking to him. There was joking and teasing there, but if he needed to say something, Finn listened. So often people thought he was always carefree and fearless and the Resistance Leader ™, but he couldn’t always be that. Sometimes he wanted to stop smiling for a second - just a second - and get something off his chest. And Finn always listened. 

“Did you try out those clothes I suggested?” Poe asked. Finn nodded. 

“I did. Not for me”, Finn said and made face. Poe laughed. He kind of missed his orange clothes. They gave him some kind of comfort. 

“Yeah, well, it takes time to find your own style. But it doesn’t really matter, you look good in everything”, Poe said. “Especially in my jacket.” 

“I do?” 

Finn was looking at him. There was sincere surprise on his face. Poe laughed and nodded a few times. “Definitely. You definitely do.” 

“I thought you looked good in everything”, Finn mumbled. Poe stilled for a second. 

“I do, I think. But you do too. You’re a good looking man, you know that, right?” 

“I am?” 

“Uh, yes. Do your eyes work alright?” Poe asked with a smile. Finn laid down on the bed. He was still on his back with his legs straight, but he crossed his arms. And boy did he have muscles. Poe didn’t know why, but he reached out and laid his hand flat on Finn’s bicep. 

“Yes, I have an arm. Weird, isn’t it?” Finn asked jokingly. Poe laughed. He gave Finn’s bicep a squeeze and a smirk. And when he watched Finn laugh, somewhere deep in his mind he made a decision. He was going to make a move on Finn. He knew Finn had some kind of feelings for him, it was hard to ignore the way his eyes darted away and how he stammered around Poe, but he didn’t know much more. He didn’t have any idea if Finn was looking for anything at all, it would be completely understandable if he wasn’t. He had lots of stuff to deal with. 

But if Poe wanted something, he was going to give his everything to getting it. He didn’t know how he should advance, but he knew he shouldn’t beat around the bush. They had a very straightforward relationship and Poe didn’t want to mess that up. Instead of pulling his hand away, what would be the normal thing to do if you weren’t flirting, he let his hand stay on Finn’s arm. Finn didn’t shake it away or anything, so Poe took that as a good sign. 

They chatted for a moment, about nothing and everything, and at some point Finn’s hand moved over his as he laughed. Their hands kind of slid down and Poe wrapped his fingers around Finn’s. He could do it even if he wasn’t flirting, it was just kind of quiet, gentle understanding between them. It got boring with some men that just oozed testosterone, those men who couldn’t touch other men even on accident or those who couldn’t cry. It was relaxing to be with someone who you could freely seek comfort from. Verbal or physical, Finn was always ready to give it to Poe, and Poe was always ready to give it to him. 

“Do they still not know how long we’re stuck here?” Finn asked. 

“Nope. We have to buy new clothes tomorrow morning”, Poe said and yawned. 

“Yeah, okay. How about we go to bed now?” Finn said. He was smiling a bit. It looked like he didn’t even know he was smiling. 

“We ARE in bed”, Poe said and reached out to pat Finn’s chest. “Luckily as a ex-stormtrooper you have very keen senses and knowledge of your surroundings.” 

“Shut up, lil’ pilot”, Finn said and patted Poe’s hand over his chest. Poe turned his hand around and grabbed Finn’s hand again. He closed his eyes with a content sigh. 

They got undressed and Poe squirmed under the covers. His head was still buzzing lightly, and he was warm and comfortable in a perfect way. For a moment he lied on his side of the bed. But he was kind of missing Finn’s hand already. And yeah, what did it care anymore? He rolled over to Finn’s side and threw his arm across Finn’s chest, like when he woke up this morning, and pulled Finn’s arm around his waist. Finn didn’t say anything, but he didn’t tense up or shy away, and his arm settled around Poe nicely. Poe smiled happily. 

This time when they woke up, Poe was more or less resting on Finn’s chest. It didn’t seem to bother him seen as he was doing something on the computer with one arm resting on Poe’s shoulder, and he hadn’t woken Poe up. Poe yawned and stretched his legs so that they stuck out of the bed to let Finn know he was awake. His head was a tiny bit, well, stuffy, but he was feeling more than alright. 

“Good morning. Should we go buy clothes?” Finn asked. Poe groaned. 

“Give me a minute here. We’re in no rush”, he said and patted Finn’s stomach. 

“Okay. Tell me when you want to go”, Finn said. 

“You can leave now if you want. I just don’t want to get up yet”, Poe yawned again. He rubbed his face, but let it drop back on Finn’s chest. It wasn’t the most comfortable position to be in, but he wasn’t going to move if Finn didn’t make him. 

“No, I’m good”, Finn said quietly after a moment of silence. Poe smiled a bit. 

“Good thing, husband.”


	3. Finn's Inner Struggles Prove To Be Worthwhile

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to explore Finn's inner world a bit more. Also, their marriage reaches new lengths, and they're still not quite sure how they ended up here. But they're still fine with it.

It took three more days for the cargo to get on the right planet and into their ship. As compensation, they didn’t need to pay the fee for the cargo and moving it around. They also got an apology letter to general Leia Organa that they promised to get to her themselves. Poe had his arm around Finn the whole time because hell yes he was going to take everything out of having Finn as his husband. Finn played along and wrapped his arm around Poe’s shoulders when he caught on. 

They climbed in the ship and Poe flew them away. He asked Finn a few questions as they took off, just to test if he remembered what he had told Finn about taking off. He didn’t mean to force Finn to learn flying, but if he was ever in a situation where he had to fly on his own, Poe wasn’t going to have him die because he had no idea what he should do. Besides, Finn was a fast learner and he seemed fairly interested in this stuff. Poe could talk about flying forever, and he tended to rail off and babble about something completely off topic of his lesson, but Finn didn’t seem to mind. If the way he looked at Poe was anything to go by, at least. 

At light speed they had a few hours to kill. There was a game-room in this ship where you could practice flying, except that the Resistance-pilots had tinkered with the game, and now it was almost impossible to control the virtual ship. They tried to race side by side, but slammed into each other all the time until pretty much everything you could use to fly the ship was broken or floating in space behind them, and twice Finn lost control and spun wildly right into Poe’s way. As good as a pilot Poe was, even he couldn’t avoid collision then, and their virtual reality glasses exploded into fire as game over flashed in front of their eyes. Once Finn managed to hold his ship longer than Poe and it was him who dropped on Finn’s ship. 

Finn laughed loud and throaty, and it made Poe’s stomach curl a bit. His cheeks hurt from all the smiling and he wondered if Finn noticed the way Poe looked at him. They ate a horrible meal on board and complained about what they had had to eat on their travels, and lied around on the couches near the control room guessing what they would have to do next. In middle of their trip they got a notification that Rey had returned from her mysterious trip, but that it would take her some time to get back to any Resistance base. They forwarded a bad quality, grainy video from Rey. She looked happy, her hair kept blowing in her face and she flinched away from water drops flying all over her, but Poe could see she was smiling. Finn smiled through the whole video too, so Poe had really no choice but to smile himself. 

They landed safely and left the ship to be unloaded. The first thing they did was to go to talk to general Organa and hand over the letter they had been given. Leia read through it and gave a few commands to some people over the communicator while Poe and Finn waited nearby. She also read through their report and asked a few questions about what they knew about the delay and such. Then she read a part of the report again. She pursed her lips a bit. There was a twinkle in her eyes, so Poe didn’t know what to think. Were they in trouble? 

“Well, congratulations, then”, she said. Poe raised his eyebrows. 

“On… completing the mission?” Finn asked, voice unsure. Leia smiled a bit as she handed over her tablet to someone. 

“On getting married. I must admit, I didn’t think it’d happen so soon.” 

For a moment, even Poe was at loss with words. “Well… it… was a beautiful place and we got drunk. Things happened, we rushed. And there was no wall in front of the shower.” 

“You could see right through it”, Finn added. 

“I can’t blame either of you. It’s in galactic records now, just so that you know. Invite me to the ceremony”, Leia said. 

“We were thinking you could officiate us?” Poe shouted after her. Leia put her thumb up as she marched away from them. There was a silence all around them for a moment before the whole room erupted in applause. Poe took a bow and Finn looked incredibly done before he dragged Poe away. Poe couldn’t stop laughing even when Finn pushed him into his room in this base. 

“Poe. Poe, listen”, Finn said. Poe managed to tune down his laughter, but he was still smirking. He bit his lower lip in effort to serious down. 

He didn’t do it to seduce Finn. He wasn’t even trying anything, and he had a feeling Finn wasn’t planning on it either, but all of sudden Finn broke their eye contact by leaning in close. And pressing their lips together. In a kiss. Poe wasn’t usually lost in what to do when he was kissed, but at that moment he found himself frozen. He had dreamed of kissing Finn, he admitted, and all of sudden it was happening and… was Finn really kissing him? And a bigger question, was Poe really not kissing him back? 

He had a bag in his hands, but it dropped on the floor as his hand flew up to Finn’s face. He could feel Finn’s cheek was warmer than it should have been and he couldn’t help but smile into the kiss. To be honest, it was clumsy and Finn’s hands were hovering near him like he didn’t know what to do with them, but it didn’t matter. None of it mattered. Poe would rather repeat that kiss a hundred times than any other kiss he had ever received. 

“Sorry”, Finn said suddenly and pulled away. Poe’s hand fell from his cheek, but he grabbed the front of Finn’s jacket before he could back away too much. 

“No, no - don’t be”, Poe said quickly. “Really, don’t be.” 

“I, uh, don’t know why I did that”, Finn said. He looked… confused. Poe smiled at him. 

“Me neither. But I liked it.” 

“Really?” Finn asked. “I’ve never… I haven’t done it a lot.” 

“Yes, well, it went well”, Poe said and nodded a bit. He patted Finn’s shoulder. They stared at each other for a short moment. “Do you want to do it again?” 

Finn blinked slowly. “I… yeah. I want to.” 

In the next few hours Finn proved yet again that he was quick to learn. Poe hadn’t thought there was a thing he would like better teaching than flying, but kissing was really taking the cake. They ended up lying on the bed huddled together, and this time both of Finn’s arms were around Poe. He rested his head on Finn’s shoulder and watched his chest fall and rise under the tight black shirt. His lips were tingling and if he was honest, he was craving for more, but he had a good reason to hold back. 

“So I think we should talk a little bit”, Poe said after thinking for a moment. 

“Okay. About what?” Finn asked and turned to look at Poe. He was as serious as he always was when Poe asked to talk with him. 

“Well, this”, Poe said and tapped Finn’s chest. “I mean, we should definitely be clear about our feelings. Communication is the key to any marriage.” 

Finn rolled his eyes and shook his head, but his smile gave it away. “Is there much to talk about?” 

“No, I guess. As long as we’re on the same page. And, you know, with your history I don’t think you have much experience about this stuff so… I don’t want to overstep your boundaries.” 

“I’m good”, Finn said softly. “I’ll tell you if something… makes me uncomfortable… or something. I don’t really know those things yet.” 

Poe nodded. “That’s good. I’ll take it.” 

Finn was quiet for a moment. “You know… I didn’t really think… you were into me.” 

“Well I am”, Poe said and smiled widely. “I’ll prove it. With a kiss. Come here.” 

Poe knew Finn wasn’t fully comfortable with himself yet. He knew Finn was searching for something, and he knew Finn didn’t think he was worth much before he found it. He didn’t see what others saw: he didn’t see the bravery and loyalty of trying to save a girl he barely knew because they were friends. He didn’t think it was that brave breaking into a huge battle station full of dangerous, armed people who wanted him dead more than others. He missed so much of himself that it was almost frustrating, but Poe knew Finn had to find all that himself. Poe tried to nudge him into seeing those things, he tried to show Finn what he saw: not only a broken, failed human being, but a brave, loyal and extremely worthy person, besides of being broken. 

Poe knew one day Finn would see it, but until that day, Poe had to be the one to see it, appreciate it and bury it in his heart. 

\-- 

It wasn’t easy. They still had fights to win and people to beat, and they moved around a lot. Finn and Poe were both used to it, and the base was their home wherever it was at time. They didn’t see each other as often as they would have liked to, and Finn felt weird for having a proper home at the base, but they made it work. They agreed to leave it to background, with the rebellion going on they couldn’t exactly focus on each other. On top of that, Finn still wasn’t sure about this. He liked Poe, he did, a lot, but he still thought Poe could do better. 

He thought so for a long time. For months. And he kept wondering why Poe looked at him like he was the world or why he smiled so warmly at him or why he seemed to want to hold his hand everywhere. He talked to Rey about it, too, and she just nodded seriously. She still didn’t share what she was doing or what had happened when she found Luke Skywalker. She said she wanted to but she couldn’t, and Finn believed. But whatever it was, it took all her energy and some days she looked like she was barely awake. Like she was in some sort of trance. Finn was afraid for her, but every time she woke up and a day didn’t pass without Finn seeing her smile in a certain way at him, if they got to see each other. 

Rey tried to help him. She kept saying that Finn was brave and that he had saved her life way back in that forest, but Finn reminded her that she had saved his life even more. A spot in his back still ached sometimes. But when he looked inside himself, and when he talked to Poe about it, he started thinking. Maybe he wasn’t that bad. He did leave the First Order when he saw they were wrong, bad. He left. He risked his life in doing it and his hands shook, but he did it. And he survived. Not that many could say it, and even less people could say they had not only left, but also started fighting against the First Order. 

It was hard to see his own worth, but he tried. Poe was a big help especially on days when Finn felt he was worth absolutely nothing, and he always managed to cheer him up. Finn didn’t remember a time when he had been with Poe and not at least smiled genuinely. Sometimes they only passed in a hallway and managed a hug, but Finn smiled every time. He felt a warm flutter in his chest when Poe pecked him on the lips or even on the corner of his mouth, and if he knew anything about Poe, he felt the same when Finn wrapped his arms around Poe and squeezed. 

It had been months since they got together when they finally had time to spend more than a few days together. Finn was a little late and usually it would have bothered him to lose even little of his precious time with Poe, but today he felt okay. He stood by the doors of the shuttle as they landed and held on to the railing as hard as he could. He still almost fell when they touched down. As soon as the door was open, Finn jumped off the ship and handed his gun to someone waiting for them outside. He took a few steps from the shuttle and spun around looking for a special someone. 

“My jacket’s all dirty”, Poe said from somewhere behind him. He was leaning on the door of the ship. Finn had no idea how he managed to slip there, but when Poe smiled, he didn’t even care. He just spread his arms and Poe walked straight into them. 

“Good to see you get here safe”, Poe said quietly. 

“You too”, Finn murmured. The right side of his face was pulsing heat, but he didn’t think it was badly burned. Poe leaned back and hooked their arms once again. Finn didn’t even ask where they were going, but Poe walked him to the hospital of the base. In the end they ended up putting on some soothing cream and holding something cold on his face. Poe grabbed the bad from the nurse and told her to go treat the others. He sat on the bed next to Finn and wrapped his other arm around Finn’s shoulders. 

“What happened?” Poe asked, as Finn knew he would. 

“We got ambushed. But it was a small group and I don’t think they had clear orders now that we’ve taken out some of the smaller leaders. A few are wounded but I don’t think anyone’s going to die”, Finn said. Poe nodded. 

“And did someone shoot you in the face or what?” he asked, pursing his lips. Finn laughed. 

“No. I shot the reactor and it exploded a little harder than we expected”, he said. “I think the jacket will get clean. It’s not even burnt, just dirty.” 

“More importantly, I can just dust you off and you’ll be fine”, Poe said and leaned past the artificial ice bag to press a kiss on Finn’s neck. 

They still had separate rooms, but they always spent time together. This time they chose Poe’s room. It was always full of things and clothes were littered on the chairs and tables and the bed, it was never neat, but Finn kind of liked it. He didn’t know if he could live in a chaos like this for a long time, but it was a nice change from his own room. It always had to be clean and he had specific places for, well, everything. Poe tried to learn them, but Finn ended up cleaning his room every time after Poe left. He didn’t mind. 

Now Poe pushed a pile of his clothes off his bed and they fell on it. Finn stretched out on it and rolled on his left side. Poe climbed in behind him and it didn’t take him long to get one arm below him and the other over him, even though Finn couldn’t help but laugh and squirm when Poe’s hand tickled him. They settled down soon and Poe buried his face in Finn’s neck. Finn on the other hand took Poe’s hands and wrapped them in his. 

This… this was peace. Finn could just close his eyes and forget about his worries. He didn’t need to think about the rebellion or the First Order or if Rey was going to be okay, he could just forget. It was rare that he managed to find that peace in these days, but that made it all the better. He couldn’t remember feeling it in the First Order at all. The closest came the nights after training when their group would just sit around and do their things, in the same room but rarely together. Or Finn didn’t do much with the others. He had never quite fitted into there, he didn’t know why, but it hadn’t been his place. But he thought he knew now why. It was because his place was here, with Poe and Rey and General Organa, fighting for what he believed in. 

“I missed you”, Poe said and pecked Finn’s neck. Finn smiled, even though it stung. 

“I missed you too”, he said. Poe always seemed to be the first to vocalize his feelings, but Finn was only learning how to do it. He thought he was doing fine. 

“I was afraid, too. When they told your mission didn’t go as planned”, Poe murmured. He squeezed Finn’s hand gently. 

“I know”, Finn said quietly. “I worry about you too, sometimes. They always send you on the most dangerous missions.” 

“Well, what can you do? They have to have the best looking pilot working, I know, they need my looks to inspire everyone”, Poe said and wiggled his fingers so that they brushed against Finn’s side and tickled him. Finn squirmed. 

“Too bad for them”, he said and rolled on his back. “They can only look.” 

“It’s enough for them”, Poe smirked. 

“And more than enough for me”, Finn chuckled.


	4. Promises Are Made

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, promises are made. But what promises and will they last?

Once the fighting calmed down for a bit, Finn made sure to get to the base as soon as possible. Sure, the Resistance never really stopped working (General Organa at least), but they needed to keep their heads low for now. Poe still had some missions, but he had became quite well known all over the galaxy, so he needed to stay out of sight for a moment. Finn was more than fine with it. It just meant that he got Poe all for himself. 

Finn was always a bit lost when he wasn’t on a mission. He had hard time trying to think of things to do, but thankfully, Poe got bored easily. They could cuddle for hours, really, sometimes even in silence, but Poe liked to at least talk. And now that they had more than a few days, he wasn’t going to stay still for that long. Finn didn’t know where they were going or what they were doing half of the time, but he didn’t really even mind. As long as he was with Poe, he knew he was going to be okay. It also threw him back to when they “got married”, and how they had wandered around on that planet. 

Poe was passionate. Finn kept noticing it over and over again, now when they were sitting in one of the big tables just eating. Poe was talking about how his dear x-wing had broken down, minorly, but it almost sounded like Poe would have to build it from the ground. He could have, Finn knew. He had tweaked BB-8 a lot, after all, and it wasn’t a small job. Poe swished his fork around, sometimes with food on it, and his eyes were wide. Finn didn’t know how Poe managed to talk and eat at the same time without it looking like it, but that had to be the case. His mouth moved all the time and food disappeared, but there was always sound coming from his mouth. To be honest, he seemed somehow nervous today. Maybe it was just excitement for being together again. Finn knew he felt butterflies. 

Finn had finished eating a while ago, so he just sat opposite to Poe listening. He was leaning his head to his hand, and all of sudden he was hit with a realization. This wasn’t crushing on Poe, not anymore. He was listening to him complain about his broken ship, and Finn couldn’t stop smiling. He simply couldn’t. He couldn’t move his eyes from Poe either. They were locked to Poe’s face, his bright eyes and to his smile every time it crossed his face, and his eyebrows burrowing… he didn’t see anything else. 

Finn had never been in love. He couldn’t say there hadn’t been interesting people, interesting stormtroopers that he had met, but there was never any room for slight interest to turn into a crush. And certainly not from a crush to love. So Finn had never felt it before. It was difficult to recognize it now, but what else could it be? The smile he couldn’t stop and the warmth he felt sitting here just looking at Poe, it couldn’t be anything else. 

“Finn? Buddy? Which planet are you on?” Poe asked. Finn blinked. 

“Sorry. I’m here now”, he said. Poe looked amused. 

“Am I that boring?” he asked, twinkle in his eyes. He loved to tease Finn, Finn had learned. If Finn gave him any reason to poke fun at Finn, he did it. You could bet on it. 

“No, I just thought of something. Are you done eating?” 

Poe laughed, Finn tried to memorize it, and they left the table. Poe waved his hands around a lot while talking and that didn’t change when they were walking. It made holding hands a challenge to say the least. The most difficult part was getting a hold of Poe’s hand to begin with, but Finn had became quite good at it. He waited until Poe threw his hand down with force and then, quick as a stricking snake, grabbed Poe’s hand tightly. Poe barely even noticed and his other hand kept going, so Finn smiled contently. He didn’t let go for the rest of the night either. 

Poe disappeared and appeared in his usual way during the first few days of their “vacation”. Finn didn’t even try to keep track of what all things he did, but he tried to ask some questions in case Poe wanted to talk about something. Sometimes he exploded into talking about something during the day, sometimes he answered in a way that told Finn there wasn’t much to talk about there. They cuddled in the evenings and it felt just as good as it had for the first time. Even better, maybe, now that Finn could openly lay his hand on Poe’s waist or chest or push it in his curly hair. And Poe’s neverending kisses were a big plus, too. And he was always careful to get permission, just in case Finn was feeling not so touchy-feely. 

There were still days when he was rather not touched at all. Sometimes his clothes felt too tight and every touch made his skin tingle in a nasty way, reminding him of his armour. Loud bangs made him think of explosions and blasters, and even though in good days he could handle it, some days he just couldn’t. He locked himself up then, in his own room, and sometimes Poe came into his room becauae Finn never rejected Poe. Poe noticed those days, of course, and then he sat next to Finn. He didn’t touch, didn’t kiss, at least not until he got a very clear permission. Finn was still thankful he kept company. 

Finn was happy he hadn’t had a day like that during this stay. They had just finished a meeting with General Organa and some other high-ranking officers. Finn still felt out of place in those meetings, but it wasn’t just Poe who insisted that Finn should attend them. Finn thought that they were heading towards their rooms, right next to each other, but instead of turning right, they went left. Finn was used to following Poe, but usually Poe barely knew where they were going either. Now he clearly knew. As soon as Finn managed to chip in a word, he asked where they were going. Poe stopped then, in the empty hallway, and turned to Finn. 

“Okay. So I thought since we spend all our time together anyway, we might as well live in the same room. It… well, it makes it easier when you’re away. To have your stuff there”, Poe said. He looked a tiny bit nervous, actually. 

“So… you moved us?” Finn asked slowly. 

“Yeah. I mean, some of it. I didn’t want to touch your stuff because privacy and all that”, Poe said and nodded eagerly. Now he looked more excited. Finn knew he was definitely gone when he wanted to just smile because of how Poe looked. 

“Are you okay with that?” Poe asked when Finn didn’t say anything. 

“I… yeah. You could have asked first, but yeah. We have kind of talked about it”, Finn said. Poe smiled widely. 

“Good. I wanted it to be a surprise. You’ll see why”, he said and there was the familiar twinkle again. His smile truly was infectious. Finn knew he wasn’t the only one who thought so, but it still felt cheesy to even think that. 

Poe led him to one of the hundreds of doors. He opened it with a card and turned to look at Finn with a sly smile. He opened the door, still facing Finn, and let him step in first. The room was standard size, with a combined living room - bedroom, and a few doors that led, Finn supposed, to a bathroom and kitchen. It didn’t have much stuff in it yet, just the basic bed and couch and TV, and some of Poe’s stuff lying around. Just like home. Finn smiled a bit. 

There was something on the bed that didn’t belong to Poe, though. Finn looked at Poe, but he just smiled and nodded towards the bed. Finn went over. It was some kind of white fabric folded over, so Finn picked it up. He had to spread it over the bed to be able to read it. 

_Just married?_ , it said. 

They joked about their marriage all the time. It could have been one of those jokes, as Finn first thought, but when he turned to Poe with a small smile… Poe was holding a small box in his hands. He clicked it open. Finn had heard of it, he knew what was inside, but he still didn’t know what else to do but stare. The ring itself was simple: just a silver ring, with a small text on it. _F &P _. It was attached to a silver chain. Poe was smiling, but it was a smaller, more timid smile than usual. It made Finn’s heart skip a beat nonetheless. 

“It’s a war-time and we keep running past each other all the time. I thought maybe I should wait until it’s over but… I don’t want to miss our chance. And, you know, I still want to be yours when I’m away and I want to be… together. Even when we’re apart. If it makes any sense”, Poe said. Finn could see his nerves were kicking in. 

“Poe…” 

“No, I had a speech. I practiced it”, Poe said, and his smile looked more like his usual one now. It melted away all too soon to be replaced by a serious, not sad but serious expression. “I’ve never met anyone like you before, Finn. And I know I never will. I know it’s not perfect, because most of the time we have to be in different places, but I would still like to do this. I want to make it official to everyone and to us. I want to make a promise, Finn. To you. With you.” 

Finn had to swallow back a storm of emotions. He blinked fast to keep tears from coming into his eyes. 

“I think I had more but - well, I’ll let you speak now”, Poe said and offered the ring. Finn stared at it. He knew that even if he said no, they would work through it. Poe always said he had just as much say in their relationship as Poe did, and Finn knew he meant it. He had seen others do this too, get married quickly in case they didn’t have a chance to do it later, but to be honest, he hadn’t expected it at all. Not for them. They hadn’t know that long and hadn’t been together long either. 

But did it matter? Hadn’t Finn just been amazed of how in love he was? He couldn’t imagine a life without Poe anymore, and he didn’t want to. Besides, this wasn’t marriage itself yet. This was a promise to get married, later, if they decided to do so then. Yes, this was a promise. That he was Poe’s and Poe was his, that they wanted and loved each other, that they would stay together. That they would work to stay together. Finn hadn’t even thought of it before this. 

“Yes”, Finn blurted out. Poe stared at him for a moment. 

“Yes?” he asked, his face lighting up with a smile Finn had never seen before. Finn nodded. Poe let out an almost hysterical laughter and instead of giving Finn the ring, he threw the box on the bed and himself against Finn. Finn’s arms wrapped around Poe almost automatically, and he felt his own face curl into a smile too. Finn dropped his chin against Poe’s shoulder and now he couldn’t stop tears from swelling in his eyes. 

They didn’t move for a long time. Poe’s hands were gripping Finn’s jacket and they didn’t ease off. Finn didn’t mind. He let his eyes close and breathed in Poe’s smell and the feeling of the moment, but eventually they pulled away. Poe was almost glowing. Finn had never seen him this happy and to be honest, he hadn’t thought anyone could look this happy. Being able to say that he was the one who made Poe look like that was worth everything in the world. 

They didn’t tell anyone at first. Finn kept his ring in the simple chain and hidden under his shirt, but every now and then he wrapped his fingers around the metal. The rest of the few weeks they had together they spent building their new home and generally just being happy. Finn wasn’t very comfortable with being all cuddly and in love in public, but they were rarely seen without holding hands. And it wasn’t a secret that they were together, had never been, so people didn’t stare at them as often as they used to. Finn was sure it was just because everyone had accepted that Poe was off limits now. He never thought it was because people saw them as a nice, perfect couple. 

They weren’t perfect. They rarely fought, maybe because they tried to be very careful about it, maybe because both of them hated fighting. They were supposed to be a break from it for each other, they fought for the world so much. They did get annoyed at each other. Finn hated how Poe was messy and forgot to clean up after himself, how he insisted on dragging Finn out all the time and tried to make friends for Finn, he hated those things. He knew Poe hated how he always had to have a clean home and how he never asked for help until he had already broken something, be it a rule or a new technical device. But he also knew that neither of them made it on purpose or to annoy the other. Sometimes they spoke too harshly, but they always apologized and worked it out. 

They talked about getting married, too. For real. But Finn didn’t need it: he had Poe’s promise and Poe had his. And in the end that was enough for Poe too, at least for now. Getting married was a big deal for him and Finn knew that was why he had asked for it in the first place, but Finn didn’t want to do it yet. He wanted time and Poe understood. They were both busy and Finn rose quickly in the ranks of the Resistance. If he was too get married, he was going to do it well. When he told Poe that, Poe just smiled and pressed a quick kiss on Finn’s lips. 

All in all, everything went well until one day, it didn’t.


	5. To Be Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Promises are made... to be broken.

They hadn’t seen each other in weeks and they only had one day together. Finn had just finished a huge undercover mission that had involved lots of hiding, running and days not being able to contact anyone, including Poe. He had broken an arm and he was bruised all over, and when he came back, Poe hugged him gently. But when they pulled apart, Finn could see immediately that there was something wrong. Poe’s smile looked almost forced and his eyes were dark in a way they usually weren’t. Finn didn't ask anything until they reached their little home and the soundproof door was closed. 

Well, he didn't need to ask anything even then. He just looked at Poe and Poe sighed. “I have a new mission.” 

“Oh”, Finn said, and thought he had to say good bye to Poe right now. But Poe just crossed his arms as Finn sat down on their bed. 

“I’ll need to face Ren.” 

They had talked about it. It was hard to not to when Poe still had nightmares about Ren invading his mind. Sometimes Finn still woke up to Poe almost screaming in the middle of the night, his mind still working through the torture he had gone through. Finn had had to pull Poe in his arms more than once and hold him until he could breathe normally again, until he could stop clenching his fists, until he stopped scratching or hitting himself to distract his mind from its nightmares. It happened less and less, but it still did, and every time anyone mentioned Ren, Poe’s face turned to stone. It made Finn’s chest ache. 

“We made a deal”, Finn said. He had thought it wouldn't work the way he wanted to because he knew if General Organa asked Poe on a mission that involved Ren, Poe would go. 

“We did. But they need me there”, Poe said. He didn’t sit down. Finn’s arm ached in the arm sling, but he tried to ignore it. 

“We made a deal, Poe. Neither of us will face him unless we do it together, at least not until our nightmares stop”, Finn said. He had nightmares too, yeah. Sometimes he could almost feel the heat from the red lightsaber, he could see its ragged edges closing in on him, he could feel the burn across his back. Sometimes Poe had to talk him out of, well, not talking, because sometimes Finn shut down and refused to get out of their room or talk to anyone. 

“I know. But they need me there”, Poe said again. “And I’m sorry but I won't abandon the Resistance, not even for you.” 

“You know it’s not about me. You have a trauma, Poe, you might not be able to -” 

“I’ll just have to”, Poe said. His face was still stone and his eyes were hard. It wasn’t a look Finn was used to seeing from Poe, but he knew what it meant. But he was in pain and worry was clenching his heart, and he wasn’t going to let this happen. He wouldn't let Poe get hurt. 

“And how long have you known?” Finn asked sharply. Poe’s jawline tensed up. 

“Weeks. They don't plan these in days”, he said. 

“But you didn't tell me”, Finn said. He didn’t get mad at Poe often, but he felt anger flare up in his chest now. 

“Because I knew you’d be like this!” Poe said loudly. Finn got up. It hurt but he tried to ignore it even harder. 

“Well maybe if you had told me earlier I wouldn't be like this! Maybe if you hadn’t broken the one promise we made to each other!” he shouted. 

“The one promise? As in we didn’t promise each other anything else?” Poe said after a small but significant pause. Finn’s heart dropped a bit. “So, what, this isn’t a promise to you anymore?” 

Poe was dangling his ring, the chain still around his neck, between them. Finn pursed his lips. “You know it is.” 

“But you don't even remember it when we’re talking about promises. It’s the first thing that comes up in my mind! And you never bring it up, you never move it forward, you never _want_ it to move forward!” Poe shouted. 

“Well you always say it’s okay if I need to take time! I can’t do it with everyone I fucking meet!” Finn shouted back. He knew he was going too far, and he knew Poe was going too far, but he didn’t know how to backtrack. He didn’t know how to talk it out now. 

“So now I'm just like anyone you’ve ever met?” Poe was shouting, and his face wasn’t stone anymore. It was fire. “Then maybe you’ll just be happy with me crashing my fucking x-wing!” 

“You care more about your precious fucking x-wing than me!” Finn yelled back. 

“MAYBE I FUCKING DO AND CAN YOU BLAME ME?” Poe shouted. He turned around and just like that, he was out of the door. Finn could have run after him, but his arm was hurting enough to make him see spots and his head was spinning. He fell down on the bed. He didn’t know how long he lied there shaking with anger and pain and fear, but eventually he sat up. He knew he had to. He had to leave this house. It felt cold and hard and nothing like the home he had spent so much building. He had to leave. 

Someone dragged him to the hospital wing when they found him almost falling down in pain. He had to lean to a wall to stand up. He wasn’t sure how he ended up on the white, hovering bed, but the pain started reducing and he got his vision back. His whole left arm was numb by the time he sat up, and he could only wiggle his fingers, but he shooed everyone away from him anyway. Finn knew he had to find Poe right now. 

No one knew where he was. After an hour of desperation Finn begged to see General Organa. She permitted him in and looked serious when Finn sat on the chair opposite her desk. Her hands were crossed on the table and she started talking before Finn could get a word out of his mouth. 

“I need you to contact Poe immediately”, she said. Finn’s heart dropped. 

“Where is he?” he asked. He knew something was badly, badly wrong if General Organa needed someone to contact Poe. Maybe Poe had just asked for Finn to contact him because he knew Finn would go to general Organa. Maybe everything was still fixable. 

“That's the problem”, Leia said. She was frowning. She always knew if something was wrong. 

“No, no, no, no… when does the mission start? The one he was in?” Finn asked. He had been afraid a lot in his life, but never this much. He didn’t want to hear the answer, but he needed to know. 

“It started half an hour ago. His fleet said he gave them instructions and went into hyperspace, but he had turned off all our tracking methods”, Leia said. 

“I thought that was impossible!” Finn managed to whisper and shout at the same time. 

“So did we”, Leia sighed. 

“What was the plan? What was he supposed to do?” Finn asked. He knew Poe would never leave the Resistance in trouble. No, he would do anything he could to help them. He risked his life every day for them and Finn had a nasty feeling that that was what he was doing right now. 

“Go ahead with three others to be a distraction and clear the way as much as possible”, Leia said. Finn knew this information was confidental and that it wasn't told to just anyone, and that meant… well, that meant that Poe was in real trouble. 

“He’s gone ahead”, Finn said. “He’s gone ahead. General, I need to talk to him.” 

“He has disable his communication systems”, Leia said. “I need you to contact him. In whatever way you can.” 

“Get me - get me to the communication systems”, Finn said. His throat was tight. Poe had talked to him about how he had maybe figured out how to partially turn off the communication so that it was possible to go undetected in systems but still hear what you were told. Leia didn’t ask anything more, just got up and led Finn to one of the rarely used rooms. It was full of people now. Everyone turned to them when they entered the room, and made way as they walked to the main communication systems. Leia tapped one of the people with headphones on the shoulder. He took them off and pressed a few buttons. The blue screen that popped up was empty, and the lines that told the volume of the voice received and other things, they were totally still. Finn swallowed, and it was harder than it should be. 

“Poe?” he said, and his voice shook. There was no answer. “Poe, please."


	6. Well, Now They Are Broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They are broken, indeed, both of them.

The following silence couldn’t have been longer than twenty seconds, but it felt like minutes. Finn almost gave up hope and he was seconds from crumbling on the floor before without warning, the blue screen exploded into life. Everyone in the room flinched. Sounds of guns, explosions and the beeping of several systems filled the silent room. 

“I’m busy!” Poe yelled. Finn’s heart started beating again. 

“What the hell are you doing, Dameron?” Leia asked. A loud banging noise came from the communication system. 

“No offense, General, but if anyone else but Finn -” Poe started, but was interrupted by another series of beeps and bangs. “ - if anyone but Finn talks to me I’ll shut off all communication again!” 

“Poe, please! Get out of there!” Finn said desperately. 

“No, I’m too busy breaking my precious x-wing”, Poe said. But Finn didn’t hear any real heat behind the words. They stung nonetheless. 

“Just get back here! You know I didn't mean it”, Finn said. He was ready to beg on his knees if that was what Poe asked. There was a long silence - well, not silence, since the bangs, beeps and grunts were pretty much constant, but Poe didn’t say anything for a long while. Finn was afraid to hear one last bang, or complete silence, but neither of them came. He heard faintly how someone told Leia that the others were about to arrive on the scene, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the blue screen in front of him. 

“Yeah, I know”, Poe said softly, like he wasn't flying for his life. Finn didn't know what to say but his thought process was interrupted by someone yelling. 

“General! Kylo Ren’s ship is on the move!” 

Everyone started running around the room. Leia’s face changed, but Finn could only stare at the screen. 

“Poe…” he whispered. 

“No, I have to. I have to, Finn.” 

“You know what he can do! If he finds your ship -” 

“He’s already found it. I can feel him. He’s in my head, Finn”, Poe said. His voice was tight. Finn could almost feel the blood running from his face. His heart felt like it was going to give up, more than ever. He could barely breathe. He could see the red blade lashing towards him again. He had felt it too, something in his head, pushing and pulling, invading. 

“Get out of there”, Finn was going to say, but was beaten to it by Leia. “I’m not losing you, Dameron. The others can handle the rest of the mission. Get back to the base. That was an order!” 

“I’m a bit past taking orders right now, General”, Poe yelled. “I’m going in!” 

“No!” Finn yelled. “Poe, please! Don’t do this!” 

“I’m sorry, buddy! I’ll come back, I promise”, Poe shouted. The screen went still and blank again and there were no more explosions, beeps or any other sounds. 

They let Finn stay in the room. He had to find the nearest wall and he slid down against it. He hugged himself and stared forward. No one bothered him. Once Finn got his breathing back in control he started listening to what the other pilots were saying. They were giving reports left and right, but Finn only listened to the ones about Poe. People were worried. Once the others got into the base, a few broke off to find Poe. The base wasn’t big but it took forever before they finally reported back that they had located Poe. The rest of the news weren’t so good.

“He’s unconscious”, Finn heard someone say. The communications went down after that and Finn squeezed the edge of the table so hard his knuckles were white. When they heard of the group again, they said they were back in the ship. Finn couldn’t for the life of him tell what happened then, not until he saw the ship lower from the sky. His head was spinning. He expected to see them carry Poe out, maybe bloody or half dead. He was on stretchers, but Finn definitely didn’t expect to see him awake. He was a bit bloody and bruised, and his eyes were empty, but he was alive. 

Finn ran after them into the hospital. They tried speaking to Poe, even General Organa did, but Poe wouldn’t respond. And he wasn't awake, not really, and it broke Finn all over again. When Poe was on the hospital bed, they attached him to several machines, and he didn’t react to needles sinking into his skin or the doctors pointing his eyes with lights. They said his pupils reacted to the lights, though, so Finn tried to tell himself it was going to be okay. He turned to Leia, and to his surprise, there was a sad, knowing look in her eyes. 

“What did he do to Poe?” Finn asked quietly. Leia closed her eyes and shook her head a bit. 

“I don’t know. I never wanted to learn that”, she whispered. 

“Please. Please, General”, Finn begged. Poe still didn’t move. Finn was starting to think he would have been happier to see Poe unconscious. 

“I can’t help you with that, Finn. If I could help, I would”, Leia said. When Finn looked at her, he knew she was telling the truth. “But you might help. Talk to him.” 

“We fought”, Finn said desperately. “We fought and he’s angry with me.” 

“He is not. Talk to him, Finn. Help him”, Leia said. 

Finn turned to look at Poe. The love of my life, he thought dully. And no matter what, he wasn't going to let Poe die or stay like this. Poe was going to be alive and kicking, no matter what, Finn was going to make sure he would. So he pushed through the doctors looking at Poe helplessly and stopped by Poe’s side. He lifted his good hand and gently, ever so gently, brushed his fingers against Poe’s cheek. He almost expected Poe to turn away, be angry, something, but he received nothing. 

“Poe”, he said quietly. “Poe, come on. You promised to come back.” 

But Poe didn’t, he still didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapters are getting shorter so sorry about that. And, well, sorry about breaking them too...


End file.
